Working Struggle {Day 20} Blog Everyday in May

Five years ago, I became a stay at home mom. On Wednesday (the 22nd) I celebrate my oldest’s 5th Birthday. It’s crazy that the time has gone by so fast – Many days seem like they go on forever (especially during his first year).

Both my husband and I were raised by our stay at home mothers so there really wasn’t much debate whether I would do the same – it was all we knew and financially we could do it. We always said that barring any unforeseen financial circumstance, I would stay home and raise the kids and when the time came (at my choosing) I could go back to work when both kids were in school full time. The goal was to find a job where I only worked during the day when the kids were in school.

Most days, I keep this to myself (aside from my husband and my parents), because I know many mothers wish they were able to have that choice, but I more often want to go back to work full time than be a stay at home mother.

There….I said it…I actually put it out there. I’m a stay at home mom who cannot wait to get back to work outside the home.

Believe me, I know that brings about it’s own set of difficulties (scheduling, child care, etc). I have many friends who work outside the home and wish so much that they were able to be a stay at home mom. I have lots of stay at home mom friends who wouldn’t have it any other way.

Why do I sometimes feel that it’s not for me? Do I feel the same way that many other stay at home mom’s feel? It can be a lonely, defeating, mundane job but also we have the days when the kids just want “mommy” and want to snuggle and shower me with hugs and kisses (those are the days I feel the most guilty for having these thoughts).

I read this great blog post a few weeks ago that reminds me that I am sometimes not the only one  – To Parents of Small Children (Steve Wiens).



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2 thoughts on “Working Struggle {Day 20} Blog Everyday in May

  1. You shouldn’t feel bad about this. Doesn’t everyone have urges to work? Well, if they don’t, I worry they are rather poor members of society. Until the day you do go back to work (and you will), don’t forget that you have a pretty awesome job right now. I mean, those little ones are perfect and you and I both know they are the way they are because of their mom and dad. Be proud of that. You’re a great mom!

    • Believe me, I know. I always think it’s on our bad days when no one is listening and acting up that I want to go to work the most….and then the next day they are cute and want to hug and give kisses and I feel guilty. I think what we are going to try and do (since Tim works out of the house 98% of the time) is that I will go back to work and possibly 1-2 days a week (just for about 2 hours) find a babysitter who can watch the kids while Tim has class and I would get off work. We’ll see.
      I know it’s the most important job and the best I can be giving the kids – it’s definitely the hardest job I’ve ever had.

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