Five years ago, I became a stay at home mom. On Wednesday (the 22nd) I celebrate my oldest’s 5th Birthday. It’s crazy that the time has gone by so fast – Many days seem like they go on forever (especially during his first year).
Both my husband and I were raised by our stay at home mothers so there really wasn’t much debate whether I would do the same – it was all we knew and financially we could do it. We always said that barring any unforeseen financial circumstance, I would stay home and raise the kids and when the time came (at my choosing) I could go back to work when both kids were in school full time. The goal was to find a job where I only worked during the day when the kids were in school.
Most days, I keep this to myself (aside from my husband and my parents), because I know many mothers wish they were able to have that choice, but I more often want to go back to work full time than be a stay at home mother.
There….I said it…I actually put it out there. I’m a stay at home mom who cannot wait to get back to work outside the home.
Believe me, I know that brings about it’s own set of difficulties (scheduling, child care, etc). I have many friends who work outside the home and wish so much that they were able to be a stay at home mom. I have lots of stay at home mom friends who wouldn’t have it any other way.
Why do I sometimes feel that it’s not for me? Do I feel the same way that many other stay at home mom’s feel? It can be a lonely, defeating, mundane job but also we have the days when the kids just want “mommy” and want to snuggle and shower me with hugs and kisses (those are the days I feel the most guilty for having these thoughts).
I read this great blog post a few weeks ago that reminds me that I am sometimes not the only one – To Parents of Small Children (Steve Wiens).